Fwd: [bmdc-wg] On Jane and the BMDC
From: Tyler Simonds <bmdc@lists.riseup.net>
Date: Mon, Feb 27, 2023 at 10:54 AM
Subject: [bmdc-wg] On Jane and the BMDC
To: bmdc@lists.riseup.net <bmdc@lists.riseup.net>
Transphobia leads to violence against people—our siblings, no less, who embody love. We shouldn't need to be brave in the world. We don't have to be exceptional to deserve life.
After our meeting yesterday and having caught up on email (every one as far as I can tell) regarding Jane's multiple outbursts last week, I'm even more concerned. I think my proposal below fits with the statement that John successfully presented to us – but stay tuned if you weren't present.
Somehow Jane has had some defense over email. One person even trivialized our interactions by suggesting that we quarrel over "gender opinions". We do not. We address very real, brutal attacks by someone who has been part of this group. Folks have presented first-hand accounts of what happened during the 2/19 BMDC meeting. It seems clear with multiple eyewitnesses. Following that meeting, unprovoked, Jane had plenty of time to cool off before emailing the wider group to apologize, but instead chose to ramp up the attacks. Jane is transphobic right now. Period. Nobody gets to decide another person's gender. In fact, I have no way of determining their gender unless they declare it. When somebody tells you they are _____ then you don't get to say otherwise. To do so is to say that person doesn't exist.
This BMDC incident is not a matter of accidentally using the wrong pronouns either. Not even close. Jane chose the patriarchy last week by attempting to dominate Lita. And if someone disagrees that this is possible, I remind us of Lita's composure and encourage you to (re)read "The Will to Choose" by bell hooks.
Of course, bigoted people can change for the better. I believe this with all my heart. That said, it has become clear that FOR JANE THIS POTENTIAL GROWTH NEEDS TO HAPPEN OUTSIDE OF THE EMAIL LIST AND BMDC MEETINGS. Jane's mistake was grievous. It was also repetitive.
I reached out to Jane several days ago to express much of the above but given what I've heard since then it seems like I need to be more public for the sake of BMDC. Note that Jane did not even apologize for the email sent last Monday—only for that Sunday outburst. It can't be known if this was intentional, but I find it to be yet another disturbing fact among many.
Tyler Simonds
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